Thursday, June 11, 2009

Real life rants....

Some days I'm a saint in my head...looking down on everyone and then other days I'm a self destructive gutter child wanting to be on whatever it is the druggie kids are on that day.. . Not that I take it but sometimes I still want it.I get in these dreadful self destructive moods where I want to do everything possible to hurt myself...
I don't smoke but when I break down I crave cigarettes. Not just cigarettes but cloves. Djarum blacks... so specific. When I want to die I crave drugs.​.​.​something hard to leave me messed up in the street covered in grime. It's terrible I know but I'm terrible and I'm scum because I want it. Just stop wanting it. There are other ways to feel better instead of beating yourself up. How do you stop wanting something you never wanted to want in the first place? How do you sop wanting something you never tried to start with? I'm not worth much. I'm terrible I'm grime and I'm scum. I want to tear myself down and be a street rat sometimes... a swine whore... I'm not worth much and compared to me even you are worth the world.
Which is sad because you're just a parasite trying to leech off of me. What do you want today? Money? Sex?
Find another whore to get it from, I'm grime but you're lower than me and you're not worth my time..


I am nothing but a lost gutter child trying to protect my mechanical heart...
I've given it to my swine whore wind up boy and he is my valenswine...

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